Liberal/Conservative/Southerner

relation to the Alternate USA thread (sort of) I forward this from a
Southerner co-worker (I might note the fiercest critic of Lincoln at
work
is not from the South...)

-----Original Message-----
From: <snip>. 
Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2003 6:27 AM
To: Wilson, Glenn M <snip>
Subject: FW: Liberal/Conservative/Southerner



How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives 
and Southerners?  


 Pose the following question: 

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two 
small children.  Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge 
knife comes  around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams 
obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. 

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You 
have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. 

What do you do? 

Liberal Answer: 

Well, that's  not enough information to answer the question! 

Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything 
to him that would inspire him to  attack? Could we run away? 
What does my wife think?  What about the kids? 

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife 
out of his hand? 

What does the law say about this situation? 

Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? 

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message 
does this send to society and to my children? 

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? 

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content 
just to wound me? 

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get 
away while he was stabbing me? 

Should I call 9-1-1? 

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a 
paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would 
discourage such behavior. 

This is  all so confusing! I need to debate this with some 
friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. 

Conservative Answer: 

BANG! 

Southerner's Answer : 

BANG!	 BANG! BANG!   BANG! BANG! BANG!   BANG! BANG!	 BANG! click... 
(sounds of reloading). 

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do 
you kids think?" 

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too." 

BANG! BANG! BANG!   BANG! BANG!    BANG! BANG!	 BANG!	  BANG!  click. 

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester 
Silver Tips?" 

<snip pictures that were in the original but juno couldn't process>

--------- End forwarded message ----------

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