Re: Liberal/Conservative/Southerner

----- Original Message ----- 
From: <warbeads@juno.com>
To: <gzg-l@csua.berkeley.edu>
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 2:23 PM
Subject: Liberal/Conservative/Southerner

> relation to the Alternate USA thread (sort of) I forward this from a
> Southerner co-worker (I might note the fiercest critic of Lincoln at
work
> is not from the South...)
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: <snip>. 
> Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2003 6:27 AM
> To: Wilson, Glenn M <snip>
> Subject: FW: Liberal/Conservative/Southerner
> 
> 
>  
> 
> How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives 
> and Southerners?  
>  
> 
>  Pose the following question: 
> 
> You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two 
> small children.  Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge 
> knife comes  around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams 
> obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. 
> 
> You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You 
> have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. 
> 
> What do you do? 
> 
> Liberal Answer: 
> 
> Well, that's	not enough information to answer the question! 
> 
> Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything 
> to him that would inspire him to  attack? Could we run away? 
> What does my wife think?  What about the kids? 
> 
> Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife 
> out of his hand? 
> 
> What does the law say about this situation? 
> 
> Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? 
> 
> Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message 
> does this send to society and to my children? 
> 
> Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? 
> 
> Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content 
> just to wound me? 
> 
> If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get 
> away while he was stabbing me? 
> 
> Should I call 9-1-1? 
> 
> Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a 
> paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that
would 
> discourage such behavior. 
> 
> This is  all so confusing! I need to debate this with some 
> friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. 
> 
> Conservative Answer: 
> 
> BANG! 
> 
> 
> Southerner's Answer : 
> 
> BANG!    BANG! BANG!	 BANG! BANG! BANG!   BANG! BANG!   BANG!
click... 
> (sounds of reloading). 
> 
> Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do 
> you kids think?" 
> 
> Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too." 
> 
> BANG! BANG! BANG!   BANG! BANG!    BANG! BANG!   BANG!    BANG! 
click. 
> 
> Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester 
> Silver Tips?" 
> 
> <snip pictures that were in the original but juno couldn't process>
> 
> --------- End forwarded message ----------
> 
> 
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