[GZG] [GZG News Fiction] Eat Your Vegetables!

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Scientists Discover Link Between Cellular Breakdown and
Faster-Than-Light
Travel
Wedsnesday, May 4, 2107

New Albion (INN) - 40 years after the first manned faster-than-light
trip
out of the solar system, scientists have linked antioxidants in fruits
and
vegetables to retarding cellular breakdown effects from repeated
faster-than-light (FTL) travel. Increasingly in the past four decades,
people who have frequently and repeatedly traveled between star systems
have
reported increasing deterioration of human body functionality. Side
effects
have been heretofore unexplained loss of muscle tissue, increases in
cases
of leukemia, and a general rise in other cancers. Even after as few as
half
a dozen faster-than-light trips, travelers have reported an increase in
migraine-level headaches. But until now, no definitive link to FTL
travel
and these symptoms had been linked.

Dr Marcus Brody of the New Albion Institute on Medicine, announced
yesterday
that they finally understand the cause. And it is all due to traveling
faster than light.

"Man was not necessarily meant to travel faster than light," stated Dr
Brody, "but Nature has provided Man with a solution to the hazards of
deep
space travel. And surprisingly, it is found almost exclusively in fruits
and
vegetables!"

Brody's team reported that when eaten at recommended dietary levels,
antioxidants in regular everyday fruits and vegetables dramatically
stave
off the debilitating effects of FTL travel.

Dr Brody's team conducted research on data compiled over the past 40
years,
and solicited volunteers from the normal traveling population.

"People have reported that their headaches went almost completely away
after
they started a regular diet of fruits and vegetables," reported
Katherine
Dominque, a fellow researcher of Brody's, "Test subjects were divided
into
two groups: one eating fruits and vegetables regularly while traveling
FTL,
and the other group who subsisted exclusively on meats and grains during
their travel."

"The results after as few as four flights were immediately noticeable."

Once test subjects who had not eaten fruits and vegetables started to
include them in their diets, the effects went away.

"We have a lot of converts to eating balanced meals now. This could
really
help society as a whole."

The researchers indicated that at this time no known
synthetically-produced
antioxidants have this same effect.

"You need to eat your fruits and vegetables," said Brody, "not take
pills
off a store shelf. Those will not work."

The New Albion Institute of Medicine furnished this list of common
antioxidants and the foods in which they are found:

* Vitamin C, found in citrus fruits and juices; berries and other
fruits;
dark green vegetables; red and yellow peppers; blue jaffa pods.
* Vitamin E, found in vegetable oils and most all green vegetables
* Beta carotene, found in colorful fruits and vegetables such as
broccoli,
spinach, carrots, sweet and sour potatoes, red and yellow peppers,
apricots,
red and orange vanues, cantaloupes, and mangoes.

Other News features and articles can be found at:
http://www.bcpl.net/~indy/full-thrust/full-thrust.html#news