Re: [GZG] [OT] Army Life

ROFL!  There is a US equivalent that's been making the rounds of the
internet for years, but I think it's even funnier in Australian.

John

On 1/11/06, Beth.Fulton@csiro.au <Beth.Fulton@csiro.au> wrote:
> G'day guys,
>
> Thought this may bring a chuckle to some here. I'm sure there are
> probably US or UK equivalents that do the rounds and apologies to
those
> who've seen this before, but here is a quip on "Life in the Oz Army".
> And make sure you read right to the end ;)
>
> Cheers
>
> Beth
>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
> Dear Mum & Dad,
>
> I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that
> the Army is better than working on the farm. Tell them to get in
bloody
> quick smart before the jobs are all gone.  I woz a bit slow in
settling
> down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6 am. But I
> like sleeping in now, coz all you gotta do before brekky is make ya
bed
> and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no
> calves to feed, no feed to stack.
>
> Nothing!
>
> At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks
> or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon,
> and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on
a
> route march. Geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the
back
> paddock!
>
> This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep
> getting medals for shooting - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a
> bloody possum's bum and it don't move and its not firing back at ya
like
> the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows
> before the Ekka last year. All ya gotta do is make yourself
comfortable
> and hit the target and its a piece of piss. You don't even load your
own
> cartridges
> - they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself
> against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload.
>
> Sometimes you gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real
> careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and
Phil
> and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home.
>
> Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best
the
> platoons got and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the
> Engineers, he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across
the
> shoulders as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringing wet.
> But I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
>
> I can't complain about the Army. Tell the boys to get in quick before
> word gets around how bloody good it is.
>
> Your loving daughter,
>
> Sharon
>
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--
"Thousands of Sarmatians, Thousands of Franks, we've slain them again
and again.  We're looking for thousands of Persians."
--Vita Aureliani

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