[OT] Star Wars Geek Humour

Okay, in the vein of "LIGHTEN UP YOU LOT!", here is some amusement. 

> A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE 
> SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops 
> off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke

> looks round, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

> 

> DARTH VADER: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."

> LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

> DARTH VADER: "No! I am your father!"

> LUKE: "No, that's not true! That's impossible."

> DARTH VADER: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."

> LUKE: "NO!"

> DARTH VADER: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that 
> queer brass droid of yours?"

> LUKE: "Threepio?"

> DARTH VADER: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was 7 years old."

> LUKE: "No."

> DARTH VADER: "Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at 
> yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship 

> out of the swamp."

> LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

> DARTH VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly 
> destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"

> LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault."

> DARTH VADER: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I

> wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the 
> Sith...waahhh wahhh!' You make me sick."

> LUKE: "Shut up!"

> DARTH VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had 
> exterminated the Jedi Knights!"

> LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"

> DARTH VADER: "Oh, for the love of God, 10 years old, winner of the 
> Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!"

> 

> Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.

> DARTH VADER: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you 
> are, but you sure ain't mine. Get out of my sight, you loser!"

> 

> Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the 
> shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.

> 

> DARTH VADER: "AND GET A HAIRCUT!"