We Were Soldiers

Dr. Lambshead (hoi folloi indeed!) said:
Professional soldiers often have more in common with each other than
their 
own civilians. In WW1 at Xmas British and German soldiers in France
played 
a football match in no man's land (they won as usual at football). 

[Tomb] Familial anecdote: My Grandad fought with the British (Scottish)
16th HLI through some of the uglier parts of the war (Somme, Pursuit to
Mons, a few other notable battles - IIRC). When I was younger, we talked
about the technical bits (guns, horses, etc) and the mud and disease and
shortage of food. I heard tales of people looting (yes even allies) and
of an inspection by King George (IIRC) and some Generals. But never did
we talk about the killing (I was young, so I didn't notice the
omission). I can't imagine my Grandad killing people, which is funny
because I know for a time he was a Lewis-gunner. I know he fought in the
trenches and no-man's land with the infantry. He probably event fought
close assaults. But I still can't imagine the man I knew doing anyone
harm.  

He didn't seem to blame the German soldier directly, because he knew
they (like him) were over there because they had to be. He himself
joined because employment was hard to find and he was the eldest son of
a big family (so going to the war was an income for the family). And
yet, when we lived in Medicine Hat, a predominantly Germanic community
in the prairies (leftover from the WW2 PoW camp I understand), he never
spoke to our neighbours other than what he had to. They were nice, he
was aloof. 

It wasn't till he was in the dementia of his deathbead and reliving some
past memories that we heard things like 

"Shhh, quiet Johnny, the German Patrol will hear you."
"They're close. Real close, you've got to try to be quiet."
"I know. I know. But we're out here all alone, and if they hear us,
we're for it."
"Try to be quiet.... yes, I know it hurts.... I know you can't feel your
arm.... that's because it isn't there anymore...."

And this for a young man of 17 (he tried to go overseas at 16 but the CO
caught him and stopped him). 

He may have intellectually understood that the average German was no
more to blame than you or I, but years of trench warfare and poison gas
and all the mud and vermin and whatnot and dead and maimed friends....
that left an impression that never left and was inseparable mentally
from the Germans. He obviously knew on some level it wasn't right to
blame the Germans for some of it, but that's a big difference from not
having an emotional association.

I think this "other guy is a human being" thing is something mostly for
historians or those who've fought antiseptic wars (if that isn't an
oxymoron - but there are better and worse). I think people who've seen
enough friends die in horrible ways (and there aren't too many good ones
in war) tend to have scars that always colour their perceptions on some
level, even if they intellectually can separate themselves from any bias
or grudge. Emotional experiences imprint deeper and more lastingly.