[OT] Dice

Hello everybody

The DBM list has at the moment a lively debate on dice and their 
properties. Some of you might appreciate this particular contribution 

:-)
Karl Heinz

--- In dbmlist@y..., Madcam@m... wrote:
> See you have it all wrong.  Dice don't want to be caressed or unduly 
> fondled (unless first taken to dinner, perhaps a movie).  I on the 
> other hand keep them bundled in a nice Crown Royal "royal" purple 
> velvet bag.  Yea thats right, keep em liquored up and they're bound 
> to roll pure random!
> 
> 
> Out of the bag now,
> 
> Madcam

--- In dbmlist@y..., b.j.moyle@m... wrote:
Hi:

> Hey thats a great Idea !  But how can you tell if a die is male or 
> female ?  I am looking all over this one and I just cannot tell.....	
> Are you gay if you fondle male dice ?  


Ahem, the repoductive system of dice has been the subject of many a 
scientific paper.  Early systems to classify dice were fraught with 
dififculty as it turns out that dice or in fact polymorphous rather 
than dimorphous. That is, the male can take one of several distinct 
phenotypes.  Nonethelss, the German author Weier's ground backing 
taxonomic system "Revision Der Wurfel", published in 1935 is regarded 
as the best starting point.  Alas it is difficult to get a copy.  The 
fluffy dice used by some motorists are an interesting isnatnce of 
parallel evolution as they in fact, have no relationship to the more 
common and wide-spread 'wurfelspeil'.  

Gender of dice is determined in the egg-stage of the nest.  Like some 
crocodilians (the phylogeny of dice and crocodilians remains in fierce 
debate), temperature is crucial to determining the gender of the dice.	

Actual determination of sex requires an internal examination of the 
dice.  The genital operculum is protected by a hard plate or 'scutum' 
over the one-spot.  Females have conspicuous ovaries and are often 
small and drab in appearance.  The expert can always tell.

Dice fondling is regarded as an unsafe habit due to a parasitic mimic 
of dice that will inject its eggs under your skin- where they will 
literally, make a meal out of you.  Most wargamers carry sharp knives 
to expedite the rapid excision of such parasites when they are large 
enough to be readily located.  It is speculated that this parasite 
injects its host with a hormone that promotes weight gain and a 
sedantary life style so as to perpetuate the future supply of food for 
its young.   

Kind regards

Brendan
--- End forwarded message ---