Re: FW: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE] (fwd)

Brian (a Canadian Brian, for those who have difficulty telling the
Brians
apart):

> >>Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial
duties
over
> >>all states, commonwealths and other territories.  Except Utah, which
she
> >>does not fancy.  Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair,
MP
for
> >>the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a
world
> >>outside your borders) ...

87.3% of statistics are made up on the spot.

> >>2. There is no such thing as "US English".	We will let Microsoft
know
on
> >>your behalf.

Not that Microsoft will care.  But what about Southern English?

> >>6. You should stop playing American "football".  There is only one
kind
of
> >>football.  What you refer to as American "football" is not a very
good
> >game.
> >>The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders
> >>may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.

The Blue Bombers are no more?

> >>7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear
weapons if
> >>they give you any merde.  The 98.85% of you who were not aware that
there
> >is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.

How about if we start off with the nuclear weapons? (this comment
submitted
on behalf of John Atkinson)

> >>9. All American cars are hereby banned.  They are crap and it is for
your
> >>own good.  When we show you German cars, you will understand what we
mean.

Given that DaimlerChrysler just yesterday made it plain that "Daimler"
is
the important part of the name, this may become moot.

> >>10. Please tell us who killed JFK.	It's been driving us crazy.

And why didn't he go on to Teddy?  That's what has been bothering me.