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Re: [OT] Star Wars Geek Humour

From: Michael Llaneza <maserati@e...>
Date: Thu, 06 Jun 2002 15:49:20 -0700
Subject: Re: [OT] Star Wars Geek Humour

Thanks. After the week I've had, I really needed to be reduced to 
hysterical laughter.

This is even better than the Evil Overlord lists.

Excuse me for a moment, I have to forward this to about 500 people.

Tomb wrote:

>Okay, in the vein of "LIGHTEN UP YOU LOT!", here is some amusement. 
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>>A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE 
>>SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops 
>>off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke
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>>looks round, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.
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>>DARTH VADER: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."
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>>LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
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>>DARTH VADER: "No! I am your father!"
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>>LUKE: "No, that's not true! That's impossible."
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>>DARTH VADER: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."
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>>LUKE: "NO!"
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>>DARTH VADER: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that 
>>queer brass droid of yours?"
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>>LUKE: "Threepio?"
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>>DARTH VADER: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was 7 years old."
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>>LUKE: "No."
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>>DARTH VADER: "Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at 
>>yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship 
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>>out of the swamp."
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>>LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"
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>>DARTH VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly 
>>destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"
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>>LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault."
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>>DARTH VADER: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I
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>>wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the 
>>Sith...waahhh wahhh!' You make me sick."
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>>LUKE: "Shut up!"
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>>DARTH VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had 
>>exterminated the Jedi Knights!"
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>>LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"
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>>DARTH VADER: "Oh, for the love of God, 10 years old, winner of the 
>>Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!"
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>>Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.
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>>DARTH VADER: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you 
>>are, but you sure ain't mine. Get out of my sight, you loser!"
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>>Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the 
>>shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.
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>>DARTH VADER: "AND GET A HAIRCUT!"
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