[GZG] [OT] Re: Sheep

Sheep are weird and have creepy looking eyes. They get
stupider as they get older as well, lambs can be quite
quick but there are few things as stupid as an old
ewe. They will get stuck in a hedge and then just
before you reach them to free them they will pull
themselves free and run away – otherwise they would
stand there until they die. Of course sometimes they
will die on you for no apparent reason. Another
favourite trick is getting stuck on their back so you
have to roll them upright again.

For the last coupe of years our lawnmower has been a
couple of tups, rams, which are away at the moment,
away doing their duty with the ewes. My uncle lured
them onto the trailer full of ewes with a bucket of
meal – the two great lures, food and sex. The tups are
more sheepy than the ewes, they stink very strongly
(of sheep) and mostly just eat and sleep, except as
this time of year when they do the four letter thing
as well; for this purpose they have enormous testicles
(very obvious when they are standing facing away from
you, you do not need to look too closely at them).
They are not entirely stupid – they know about
windfall apples and come looking for them.

They do get some odd diseases and maggots can do
horrible things to them. Very often their feet need
trimmed (my uncle would not make a good chiropodist)
which seems to involve a weird mix of tools involving
rusty knives and old pruning shears them spraying any
wounds with a weirdly coloured antibacterial aerosol –
unless it is a stray can of paint!

Sheep dip is worth a mention as well. It was derived
from German research into nerve gas and has done
horrible things to farmers over the years – a group
notorious for such games as how many people (and a
dog) can you get onto a quod bike and I recall two
adults, four children (and a dog) fitting onto a small
tractor ( I was frequently one of the four children).

A hand reared lamb is cute but when it gets bigger it
can be a problem, it is not afraid of people and a
make can be very aggressive – and big enough to do
some serious injury.

Some people like them, my uncle could spend all day
working with them but others do not, his son hates the
things despite having inherited his father's charm for
animals (and inability to train dogs).

Apparently they do have quite good eyesight (to spot
predators) and they seem to exist in an almost
permanent state of fear.

The best place for them is on your plate.

Michael

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