Full Metal Aqualung: Found Me A Seal

... or a Sea-mammal

Yesterday's (4/7/03) Washington Post had an article: "The Navy's 
Dolphin Safe Program: Marine Mammals Go to War In Search for Iraqi 
Mines."

The article has quite a bit of interesting information. The navy 
employs trained Seals, Dolphins, and even Killer whales for mine and 
even diver detection. The dolphins have actually been used to find 
harbor mines in Iraq - 6 in the first 36 hours, recent counts total up 
to 22.
	Fluid Mine-Aware Sea-mammals

Here are a few nuggets from the article:

"They have a substantially greater capability to view large areas and 
filter out rocks and bathtubs and junk to find only the thing you're 
looking for"
	- but what about the MBT's (Main Battle Tubs)?

"The dolphins are usually fitted with cameras to transmit underwater 
scenes...to further eliminate false alarms"

"...sea lions can spot divers intruding on piers or ships...[they] can 
race up behind divers, immobilize their legs with cuffing devices 
attached to a long rope, then race away, allowing their human 
counterparts to drag the enemies to the surface."
	- this sounds totally Wile E. Coyote.
	- Fast Manacle-Attaching Sealion

"The number of dolphins and Sea Lions deployed to Iraq is classified"

"Reports... that one of the Navy's Dolphins... went temporarily AWOL in 
mid-mission didn't concern the Navy.'' It happens occasionally in 
foreign territory. They get lost of they go off. But for the last 15 
years we haven't lost any animals.'"
	-Find Me AWOL Sea-mamal

"in Project Deep Ops [1970's] the Navy trained a half-dozen whales - 
including a killer whale [to recover experimental anti-sub torpedoes in 
deep/cold water]. Once they located the torpedo the whales attached a 
gas generator that filled a balloon that raised the torpedo."
	-Flooded-Munition-Attaining Shamu

" The whales were able to recover objects as deep as 1654 feet, but 
were a logistical nightmare to transport to the site... ' If you've got 
a sea lion, you can walk it on a leash. But if you've got a 5000 pound 
killer whale, it doesn't work very well."

"..the Navy taught gray seals... to turn valves underwater... [T]he 
Navy dropped the project.' You spend a lot of time and money developing 
capabilities... but if you use it only once every 50 years, it probably 
isn't worth having."
	- Tell that to James Bond.

This is my favorite:
Against allegations of animals in offensive roles:
"That tactic's flaw...is that dolphins can't discern between the bottom 
of an enemy ship and one of their own: ' We don't think it's wise to 
give decision making authority to an animal that might blow something 
up'".
	- Snarky comments are left as an exercise for the reader.

Another rumor: The program trains dolphins "to kill using knives, 
poison filled syringes, or other weapons strapped to their beaks"
	Fast Moving Aquatic Stabber
	Fluked-Medic Applying Syringe

Response: "Spare Me! The U.S. Navy does not now, nor has it ever, 
trained dolphins or any other marine mammals to kill, harm, or injure 
human beings"
	--Note the careful use of the word "mammals." This conveniently
omits 
the Field Munition Attack Sardines...

PETA is, of course unhappy: "'Wars are human endeavors"
As is the Dolphin Society: "[The]use of dolphins is slavery and 
servitude"

There's more, of course. It's a fun article.

Begin Ram Zone	 (Noam Izenberg   - Go Rams!)