Lightbulb Joke

Problem with John's NRE response: Could be confused with FSE. (The 
universe revolving around them bit)

Alternate answers:

UN: 307 members of the United Nation's Standing Committee on 
Lightbulb Replacement are reviewing the issue. A draft report is 
expected to be issued next year. Already, dissenting opinions are 
expected and ESU members of the Committee have indicated they may 
boycott the final report. 

OUDF: 
1. Daft B*st*rds! Can't you find yer beer in the dark, Mates? 

FSE:
1. We could surrender to the NSL and watch their method.
2. It doesn't matter. We'll be selling lightbulbs to the changers and 
improved breaking tools to the smashers. 
3. A half dozen "colonials" led by a French officer. 

Japanese:
Do not be concerened. The automated system has already changed it. 

NAC:
One, unless the Military-Industrial complex gets involved. Then it'll 
be thirty seven people, and will cost $3425.98 and take three weeks. 

SV:
Change? Why not just grow another bio-illuminator? Or self-modify to 
allow operations in all light levels? 

KV:
Changing lightbulbs isn't even fit for Prey! 

NRE:
2. The lightbulb will be changed by servants of the Great Family who 
have been granted the Lightbulb Maintenance Concession. 

ORC:
One. Out here, we take care of ourselves 'cause no one else will.

ESU: 
1. Three. One Commisar, one "example" to be shot as an example of why 
speedy and efficient lightbulb changing is a survival trait, and one 
to actually change the bulb. But it won't matter, the power supply 
system is in shambles and repairs aren't expected until next month. 

Gurkha:
None - prefer it dark. Go sharpen knives and go looking for some ears 
to collect.

Swiss:
None. Their lightbulbs don't burn out. 

Scanfed:
Fin: None, unless you let them think changing the bulb was their own 
idea. 

AE:
If no one has a contractual obligation, lightbulb changing will only 
occur at the whim of those nearby. The number involved could be 
anywhere from one to several thousand, depending on the sovereignty 
involved. Imperial bulbs may or may not ever burn out and may or may 
not be changed, but IBIS discourages any investigation into these 
matters. 

IF:
Many will volunteer, with much waiving of lightbulb changing 
apparati. But when it comes to actually changing the bulb, most will 
have suddenly made themselves scarce and the bulb will never actually 
get changed. 

NI: 
Five, all in unmarked and non-descript dark fatigues but heavily 
armed. One bulb changer and a four man security detail who will 
quietly appear, execute the change with calm efficiency while 
maintaining all around guard, and then disappear back into the 
darkness. 

IAS:
After a careful study to determine if bulb replacement has a zero-
environmental impact, a team of three (one to perform the operation, 
one to record video and sound, and another to make notes and take 
still photos) will quietly and carefully change the bulb. 

Celtic NAC-successionist Substate #45892
"Ach, aye, we'd change yon bulb laddie, but ye ken as we're a tad
busy seceedin' noo!"

Orcs in Space:
Dakka-Dakka! Orkboyz Shoota' Light! 

Eldar:
One. And the replacement would have been hand crafted over three 
millenia and be the most beautiful lightbulb ever created in the 
history of the universe. But it would be fragile.

IC: 
One very tentative lightbulb technician would replace the bulb under 
careful supervision from NAC "advisors".