RE: To which nation do you belong?

302. "Ahh! Good to see you! I expect you are here to pay for your
orbital
slot rental, atmospheric transfer fee, your interstellar communications
bill, the ...". Collect the fees for orbital parking and use of
airspace.
Charge them for communications from the Home world. Impose a shipping
and
communication embargo on them. Pressure the banks to call in loans they
have
taken out. Encourage their unions to strike. Etc.

-Bri
Interstellar Trade, Transport and Telecommunications

-----Original Message-----
From: owner-gzg-l@lists.CSUA.Berkeley.EDU
[mailto:owner-gzg-l@lists.CSUA.Berkeley.EDU]On Behalf Of
kaladorn@magma.ca
Sent: Thursday, September 19, 2002 11:26
To: gzg-l@csua.berkeley.edu
Subject: To which nation do you belong?

Your platoon is surrounded and outnumbered by the enemy. You've
suffered many men killed and many wounded. You have very few men left
and your position is desparate. The enemy commander offers you a
chance to reply. Your reply is to this offer:

1. "Nuts." Hold tight and wait for your relief till Hell freezes
over, because you know relief _is_ coming.
2. "Ve Do Not Zurrendur. Not Ze Prussian Vay." Hold tight and fight
calmly and effectively until overrun, then separate and try to make
your way back to your own lines.
3. "Camerone!" then execute a close assault with all remaining
members of the platoon and win or die.
4. "Oi, Mate. You wanna give up? Stupid B*st*rds." Be shocked when
the outnumbering enemy is not in fact surrendering, then get annoyed
and give them a good thumping.
5. Smile. Sharpen your curved knives. Wait till dark, crawl out, and
collect some ears.
6. Shoot the emissary, then shoot a few of your most shaky looking
men to "inspire" the others. You'd like to surrender, but you know
the Area Commander and his Commisars would probably do worse than
just kill you.
7. "Y'all mosey back to yer lines. And if we see yer sorry *ss around
these parts agin, we'll git real annoyed." Load your Winchester and
check the chambers on your shootin' irons. And tell the boys 'n' gals
to "Remember Dan'l Boone and the Alamo."
8. Praise the supreme being, order your troops to mount a suicidal
attack (shooting a few as examples of what might happen to those who
disobey), then look for a convenient moment during the charge to duck
out and head for home to procure more troops.
9. Thank the emissary for his generous offer. Respectfully decline
strictly as a matter of honour. Feed the emissary some nice tea and
send him home. Put on your rising-sun headband and meditate with your
men. When the spirit has been purified, Banzai!
10. Being incredibly pragmatic, arrange for safe passage of your
troops and arms from this untenable position. Ensure proper
gaurantees are in place and then surrender conditionally.
11. Take the emissary prisoner. Interrogate him for information. Then
launch a counter attack
with a quick prayer to Yaweh. Do not allow yourself to be captured,
as the enemy usually does
some very wrong things to prisoners.
12. Surrender, because you don't have any support coming to rescue
you. Rely on your lovely blue headgear to protect you, since nothing
else will.
13. Invoke the spirit of Shaka, grab your assegai, and lead the men
on a cunning two pronged attack on the enemy position.