Re: Chicken Joke (repeated)

----- Original Message -----
From: "Donald Hosford" <Hosford.Donald@acd.net>

> Would whoever posted the "Chicken crossing the road" joke please
repost
> it?
> I just saw it the other day, and I managed to loose it in my emailer.

Your wish is my command...

Issue: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

TRADOC: The purpose is to familiarize the chicken with road-crossing
procedures. Road-crossing should be performed only between the hours of
sunset and sunrise. Solo chickens must have at least three miles of
visibility and a safety observer.

Special Forces Command : The chicken crossed at a 90 degree angle to
avoid
prolonged exposure to a line of communication. To achieve maximum
surprise,
the chicken should have performed this maneuver at night using NVGs,
preferably near a road bend in a valley.

Army Personnel Command: Due to the needs of the Army, the chicken was
involuntarily reassigned to the other side of the road. This will be a
3-year controlled tour and we promise to give the chicken a good-deal
assignment afterwards. Every chicken will be required to do one
road-crossing during its career, and this will not affect its
opportunities
for future promotion.

Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA): Despite what you see on CNN, I can
neither confirm nor deny any fowl performing acts of transit. Questions?
Please see the SSO.

Army Foreign Technology Center : This event will need confirmation; we
need
to repeat it using varied chicken breeds, road types, and weather
conditions
to confirm whether it can actually happen within the parameters
specified
for chickens and the remote possibility that they might cross thruways
designated by some as 'roads.'

FT Rucker: The chicken should log this as a GCC sortie only if
road-crossing
qualified. The crossing updates the chicken's 60-day road-crossing
currency
only if performed on a Monday or Thursday or during a full moon.
Instructor
chickens may update currency any time they observe another chicken cross
the
road.

FORSCOM: The purpose is not important. What is important is that the
chicken
remained under the OPCON of USCINCTRANS and did not CHOP to the theater
on
the other side of the road. Without CHOPing the chicken was able to
achieve
a seamless road-crossing with near perfect, real-time in-transit
visibility.

Theater Air Control Center (TACC): We need the road-crossing time and
the
time the chicken becomes available for another crossing.

COMMAND POST: What chicken?

TOWER: The chicken was instructed to hold short of the road. This
road-incursion incident was reported in a Hazardous Chicken
Road-Crossing
Report (HCRCR). Please re-emphasize that chickens are required to read
back
all hold short instructions.

ARMY Materiel Command (AMC): Recent changes in technology, coupled with
today's multipolar strategic environment, have created new challenges in
the
chicken's ability to cross the road. The chicken was also faced with
significant challenges to create and develop core competencies required
for
this new environment. AMC's Chicken Systems Program Office (CSPO), in a
partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by
rethinking
its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using
the
Poultry Integration Model (PIM) CSPO helped the chicken use its skills,
methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's
people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy
within a
Program Management framework. The CSPO convened a diverse cross-spectrum
of
road analysts and retired chickens along with MITRE consultants with
deep
skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary
of
meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge and capital, both
tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in
order
to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully
architecting
and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum
of
poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting
enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically
based, mission-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified
Mission Need Statement and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision,
and
core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business
integration solution. The Chicken Systems Program Office helped the
chicken
change to continue meeting its mission.