Re: Rattling the Cage

Warning: Not for the humour-impaired, though
there's a nugget of truth in most of the below.
OK, sometimes it's a very small nugget.
Hope John enjoys it as much as I enjoyed his
possum-stirring. He has a nice turn of phrase,
"this beautifully orchestrated ballet of farm 
implements" describing a well-executed breaching
operation perfectly.
 
From: "John Atkinson" <johnmatkinson@yahoo.com>

> Well, considering that Australia's last moment of
> military glory was. . . contributing a batallion to
> the thing in RVN about 30 years ago, I'd have to say
> that the US Army has PAC clerks and finance weenies
> deployed to Afghanistan who can consider basically
> everyone in the Australian Army, including airborne
> infantry and everything else, as REMFs.

Actually John, you're correct. The Australian SAS 
currently in Afghanistan spends most of its time in the
rear echelon - as did most Australian troops in Somalia
and elsewhere.

It's just that it's usually the *Enemy's* rear echelon.
(insert BWAHAHAHA here)

> In regards to the question of who is closest to the
> enemy if everyone in question is performing their
> combat missions, I have to refer to the various
> breaching drills I'm familliar with.	They mostly
> involve the infantry and armor (we have that in the US
> Army, that's what we call those loud things with big
> guns, lots of armor, and tracks)

I thought that was your mobile icecream makers. Thanks.

> pulling security
> while we roll up to the wire and do what we have to do
> to get rid of the mines, thus placing us 1)Closest to
> the enemy, and 2)incapable of taking cover while doing
> our job, and 3)the main focus of the enemy's defensive
> fire.  

A Mug's game. Too risky by far for anyone with any
brain cells to speak of. Requires vast quantities of
Cojones too. You're right in the middle of the FEBA[a].
People get to shoot back at you. Cecil B. DeMille was
right[b]

Far to the enemy's rear is a much safer place, the
Intelligence Clerks, Divisional Locating Batteries,
Comms Centres and Supply weenies aren't expecting
trouble so far behind the lines. Some of em have never fired
a weapon, even on the range. Avoid the armed-to-the-
teeth MPs (of which they never have enough) and you're in 
clover. Beer. Spirits. Ratpacks. POL.

And we get to call anyone who's tens or hundreds (or
just very occasionally, thousands) of km to our rear
at the FEBA REMFs. Especially Combat Wombats ( ie
Combat Engineers ) Pleases us no end.
 
> Now, in Australia you can't afford combined arms[1],

You mean the synergistic combination of InfoWar,
SpaceWar, Diplomacy, PsyOps, AgitProp and Conventional
Warfare? Yes, we do all of the above. 

> so you don't have this beautifully orchestrated ballet
> of farm implements, so you wouldn't know what in God's
> name I'm talking about.

Oh we do, we can watch you guys do this stuff all day.
You're good at it, it makes you happy, and against an
enemy stupid enough to be where you're assaulting, is
bloody terrifying and vastly effective. Would be even
more so if you had some decent kit for the job, like
the Poms or Germans have. Even the Russkis, for that
matter. You have what, ACE and M-728? Good Grief.

> I'd suggest doing some
> research before running off at the mouth again.

Why? That would spoil all the fun, to get all confused
by mere facts... besides which, when did that ever stop
you? [ZING]

> [1]That would be where you have a variety of military
> personnel capable of doing different things in combat.

Chew gum AND walk at the same time? I can see that that
might be a major accomplishment in the US Army. Do they
give out medals for it? They seem to for everything else.
Let's see, there's the "I forgot to duck" medal, the
"6 months without VD" medal, the.....

>  It helps to be able to afford tanks, artillery
> pieces, air defense weapons, engineer vehicles, and
> combat aviation.

We've got some of them. Not much. Enough to train against,
maybe. Actually no, you're right, not even enough for that.
That's OK, the US Army is a great OPFOR[d] when we want to 
boost our morale, and the USMC[e] when we want some serious
opposition.

> Oh, and have more than a brigade's worth of soldiers.

Oh, you need more than that? What Wusses!

[a] Forward Edge of the Battle Area. For the US Army, this
means "the front line". For the Australian Army, it means
"nearly home."
[b] Who uttered the immortal phrase, "There's a sucker born 
every minute."
[c] Charlie Brown. ACE = what, Armoured Combat Engineer 
(vehicle)? Not the best US design ever produced, but not as
bad as the many critics have made it out to be. M-728 is an
obsolete M-60 Tank with a cut-down version of a british
demolition gun, a dozer blade, and a crane. as seen at Waco. 
[d] Opposing Force - the "enemy" in an exercise.
[e] Uncle Sam's Misguided Children. OK, US Marine Corps.