Re: [ECC AAR} FMA Sheep
From: Adrian <adrian@s...>
Date: Tue, 10 May 2005 01:07:41 -0400
Subject: Re: [ECC AAR} FMA Sheep
>I suspect his "extensive therapy" and "happy place" are related to his
>living next to an oversized liquor store.
> Anyway, this reminded me that Adrian never told the tale of what
>happened at this past FMA Sheep.
> The volcano was erupting, sending long streamers of lava down the
>table to immolate about half the players; the Cthulhu cultist was
>getting chased by a tyrannosaur; the female reporter was in the
>village where the natives were doing unspeakable, or at least
>unmentionable, things to her; the missionary had come down with
>sheeping sickness and was a fuzzy ball of wool; natives and killer
>sheep and zombie killer sheep were attacking the remaining players;
>the remaining players were shooting at each other and sometimes at the
>natives and sheep. In short, everything was going beautifully.
> The heroic British sergeant captures the Ewe N airship, tosses the
>remaining blue-beanie sheep over the side, and rescues the reporter.
>Thrilling music swells as the airship lifts and races for safety. The
>volcano rumbles and spits out a few more trails of lava, converting
>most of the "surviving" characters into characters flambe' . And
>Adrian, who is a devious, blackhearted, cunning scoundrel the likes of
>which I have seldom seen, pulls out an envelope marked "For Emergency
>Use Only" and hands it to me.
Ok, Chris had some big laughs over this and wants me to relate the rest
We may or may not have played in some really strange games run by Chris
over the last several years. One of the big parts of my enjoyment of
games has been surviving. Actually, that's a pretty good measure of
success in games run by Chris - nobody "wins" (other than Chris) but
of the players might lose less horribly. Survival is losing less
horribly. (Well, then there's the therapy required afterwards, but
a different issue).
I've managed to survive all of these games. I did so only by direct
"divine" intervention. In one game, St. Jon of Needham turned up (as a
miniature) and I negotiated my escape at the last possible second from
nuclear annihilation. In another game, Jon Tuffley was actually AT the
game table (sitting next to me - we had a fun time facing down Sponge
Squid Lips - Cthulu by another name - together... trying to talk Honest
Abdul out of a nuke... but I digress)... That game was coming down to
nuclear annihilation again, and I asked St. Jon for help. He, being an
upright chap who happened to be sitting right there, agreed and I was
Then came this year's event. I knew Jon was not able to come to ECC,
was concerned that I would probably not be able to talk my way into ye
divine intervention again... Chris being Chris after all.
So I decided to hedge my bets.
I contacted Jon directly with my "cunning plan" and he very generously
with no little snickering) agreed. The result was a "Certificate of
Intervention". I produced this on my computer, and emailed it to Jon
printed it, signed it, scanned it and sent it back. I printed it out on
parchment, sealed it up in an envelope (as Chris mentioned) and took it
along, Just In Case.
As I suspected, things went horribly wrong (for the players) right from
very beginning in the typically-insane game. Chris decided the world
really had to end (as it always does) helped along by a couple of overly
enthusiastic player cultists, the volcano erupted, and Bad Things were
going to happen. Chris gave each of the surviving players the
for one Final Action. I pulled out the envelope and handed it to
It was a good laugh all round, and much thanks be to St. Jon himself for
For those who are interested, the certificate read:
"Certificate of Divine Intervention
Let it be Known to all; What has been Done by the Bearer of
this Certificate, has been Done in My Name.
In Reward for Faithfulness, Loyalty, Dedication and Purity,
the Bearer of this Certificate is Granted Absolution.
In Reward for Bravery, Steadfastness, Courage and Selflessness,
the Bearer of this Certificate is Saved.
This Certificate may be Redeemed at any time by THE BEARER for one (1)
save, escape from peril, get-away-just-in-time-from-certain-doom,
from curses, and otherwise shall not suffer from getting nuked, blown
shot, stabbed, trampled by sheep, grenaded, cut, drowned, burned, run
dropped from great height, enchanted, exploded, crushed, pierced,
collapsed, erased, deleted, or drained of soul. Valid at any time.
By my Order and Proclamation, Saint Jon of Needham"