[OT] CSAR and some other current day questions

CSAR - Anyone know if Canada has any? Or who 
would get tasked with fulfilling the role if we 
needed it? (other than the US!)

And on the US or European side, what 
transport do they use (what kind of choppers)? 
And what level are they organized at (Division, 
etc) and tasked out of? And how many 
birds/men go out to get one downed pilot? 
And what kind of off-board support should they 
expect? 

We have a neat scenario lurking in the almost-
finished archive at stargrunt.ca (from Los' Rot 
Hafen scenario, the CSAR operation to rescue 
Lt. Flug, a downed pilot... I think this was 
inspired/suggested by Magic). And I have an 
ongoing discussion with Adrian on the subject.

Also, a related question. The reporter (yeah, I 
was listening to a reporter.... shoot me) that 
described the 173rd's drop into the airfield 
north of Erbil said they all had M4s. I saw a 
bunch of M4s. But I also saw a paratrooper 
stuffing a belt of ammo into a pouch. So I'm 
assuming they also have SAWs and presumably 
some AT assets. Do they just not jump with 
these and get them out of supply containers 
when they ground? Or what? 

Also, re the LVPT-7 (amtrack?), is it me or is it 
a lot more lightly armed and armoured than 
the Bradley? (It is supposed to be amphibious, 
though I've seen several stuck halfway off a 
road into a pond... which made me wonder... I 
guess they might be tippy). And is it really 
meant for long distance cross country driving 
(ie convoy escort)? 

Thanks! And in the spirit of some sillness, I give 
you a quote passed on by a friend of mine:

"You know the world is going crazy when 
the best rapper is a white guy, the best 
golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the 
US of arrogance and Germany doesn't want 
to go to war." -- Unknown

And this gem regarding sailors: 

HOW TO SIMULATE BEING A SAILOR

1. Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside 
and out, and live in it for six months.

2. Run all the pipes and wires in your house 
exposed on the walls.

3. Repaint your entire house every month 
(windows too!).

4. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall 
across the middle of the bathtub and move 
the showerhead to chest level. When
you take showers, make sure you turn off 
the water while you soap down.

5. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it 
on high.

6. Once a week, have your family stand 
outside in the backyard in their Sunday 
clothes, blow compressed air up
your chimney, making sure the wind is 
blowing and carrying the soot everywhere. 
Ignore their complaints. 

7. Once a month, take all major appliances 
apart and then reassemble them. 

8. Raise the thresholds and lower the 
headers of your front and back doors so 
that you either trip or bang your head every 
time you pass through them. 

9. Disassemble, inspect and reassemble 
your lawnmower every week. 

10. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, 
turn your water heater temperature up to 
200 degrees. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, 
turn the water heater off. On >Saturdays 
and Sundays tell your family they used too 
much water during the week, so they're 
now on water hours and no bathing will be
allowed. 

11. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the
ceiling, so you can't turn over without 
getting out and then getting back in. 

12. Sleep on the shelf in your
closet. Replace the closet door with a 
curtain. Have your spouse whip open the 
curtain about 3 hours after you go to
sleep, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and 
say "Sorry, wrong rack." 

13. Make your family qualify to operate each
appliance in your house - dishwasher 
operator, blender technician, etc. 
Document it on a large chart mounted on
the wall in your living room to monitor 
progress.

14. Have your neighbor come over each day 
at 5 am, blow a whistle so loud Helen 
Keller could hear it, and shout, "Reveille!" 

15. Have your wife write down everything
she's going to have you do the following 
day, then have her make you stand in your 
back yard at 6 am while she reads it
to you. 

16. Submit a request chit to your father-in-
law requesting permission to leave your 
house before 3 PM. 

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your 
house and sweep the driveway three times 
a day, whether it needs it or not. 

18. Have your neighbor collect all your mail 
for a month, read your magazines, and 
randomly lose every 5th item before 
delivering it to you. 

19. Watch no TV except for movies played 
in the middle of the night. Have your family
vote on which movie to watch, and then 
show a different one.

20. When your children are in bed, run into 
their room with a megaphone shouting that 
your home is under attack and ordering 
them to their battle stations. 

21. Make your family menu a week ahead 
of time without consulting the pantry or 
refrigerator. 

22. Post a menu on the kitchen door 
informing your family that they are >having 
steak for dinner. Then make them wait in 
line for an hour. When they finally get to 
the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak,
but they can have three-week-old hotdogs. 
Repeat daily until they ignore the menu and 
just ask for hotdogs. If they complain about 
the red and green colors, patiently explain 
in a singsong voice that they are Christmas 
hotdogs.

23. Bake a cake. Prop up one side of the 
pan so the cake bakes unevenly. Spread 
icing real thick to level it off. 

24. Get up every night around midnight and 
have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on 
stale bread. 

25. Set your alarm clock to go off at 
random during the night. At the
alarm, jump up and dress as fast as you 
can, making sure to button your top shirt 
button and tuck your pants into your
socks. Run out into the backyard grabbing 
a pot from the kitchen to put on your head 
and uncoil the garden hose shouting 
"Repair Three manned and ready". 

26. Every week or so, throw your cat or 
dog in the pool and shout, "Man
overboard port side!" Rate your family 
members on how fast they respond. 

27. Put the headphones from your stereo on
your head, but don't plug them in. Hang a 
paper cup around your neck on a string. 
Stand in front of the stove, and
speak into the paper cup "Stove manned 
and ready." After an hour or so, speak into 
the cup again 'Stove secured, setting the re-
flash watch." Afterwards, roll up the
headphones and paper cup and stow them 
in a shoebox. 

28. Place a podium at the end of your 
driveway. Have your family stand watches 
at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.
Have the junior member of your family give 
12 o'clock reports. This is best done when 
the weather is worst. January is a good 
time. 

29. When there is a thunderstorm in your 
area, get a wobbly rocking chair, sit in it 
and rock as hard as you can until you 
become nauseous. Make sure
to have a supply of stale crackers in your 
shirt pocket. 

30. For former engineers: bring your lawn 
mower into the living room, and run it all day 
long. 

31. Make coffee using eighteen scoops of 
budget priced coffee grounds per pot, and 
allow the pot to simmer for 5 hours before
drinking. 

32. Have someone under the age of ten 
give you a haircut with sheep shears.  

33. Sew the back pockets of your jeans on 
the front. 

34. Every couple of weeks, dress
up in your best clothes and go to the 
scummiest part of town. Find the most run 
down, trashiest bar, and drink beer
until you are hammered. Then walk all the 
way home. 

35. Lock yourself and your family in the 
house for six weeks. Tell them that at the 
end of the 6th week you are going to
take them to Disney World for "liberty." At 
the end of the 6th week, inform them the 
trip to Disney World has been
canceled because they need to get ready 
for an inspection, and it will be another 
week before they can leave the
house. At the end of that week don't let 
them leave again because now they are on 
a fast cruise.

----------------------------------------------------
Mr. Thomas Barclay
Software Developer & Systems Analyst
thomas.barclay@stargrunt.ca
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