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RE: Good Guys(Humor) NPI Scandal.

From: "Hudak, Michael" <mihudak@s...>
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 12:11:41 -0400
Subject: RE: Good Guys(Humor) NPI Scandal.

> Union of Laborers, Galactic (ULG) as well as the Amusement 
> Industries Trade
> Union (AITU) sues NPI for its "dumping of product (toys) at a 
> cost less than
> that which it takes to manufacture and deliver them".

GNN (Galactic News Network) Reporter Sum Ting Wong was dispatched to NPI
headquarters to receive NPI's response to these heinous accusations:

Said CEO S. Claus:  I believe the ULG is misguided in it's efforts to
fault with NPI.  NPI does not manufacture any product in and of itself.
Instead (Producing a large box of holodisks), we have signed exclusive
agreements with all major (and minor) manufacturers to deliver their
products on the Terran date of December 24-25.	It is the respective
companies that do all of our manufacturing.  Our 'Elves' are merely
efficient quartermasters who ensure that the product can be acquired in
time, and delivered properly within our duly appointed timeframe.

In fact, our large advertising budget devoted solely to this delivery
helps out these manufacturing companies immensely, with no added cost to

Said General Mayhem:  It is just such frivolous lawsuits and accusations
that require us to arm ourselves to commence our duty!	Damn the pulse
torpedoes, full thrust ahead!

> It 
> further accuses NPI
> of the "use of under-paid minority workers (degradingly referred to as
> "Elves"), forced to work 364 days a year, day and night, can 
> at best be
> called sweatshop conditions if not slavery, is deplorable". 

Said S. Claus in reply:  Our elves take offense that the ULG would use
vulgar term 'minority' to describe their diminuitive size.  The ULG has
been put on the 'Naughty' list.

When Sum Ting Wong asked S. Claus about the ugly situation between NPI
the Galactic Teamsters Union (GTU), Claus replied that this is merely a
minor tiff, and has nothing to do with NPI arming itself.  When pressed
about the source of product for NPI's Keebler Elf cooking line, Claus
responded with a 'No Comment', and abruptly terminated the interview.

> The UN Court of Intergalactic Trade Disputes has issued a 
> "Cease and Desist"
> order to NPI, pending further investigation. 

Update:  As Terran December 25th is a holiday, No offices will be
to enforce the "Cease and Desist" order over this time period....
> ---
> Brian Bell
> ICQ: 12848051
> AIM: Rlyehable
> YIM: Rlyehable
> The Full Thrust Ship Registry:
> ---

Mike Hudak

Fact is, there's nothing out there you can't do.....
Yeah, even Santa Claus believes in you.....

Dr Teeth and the Electric Mayhem,"Can you picture that", Muppet Movie

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