[Fwd: FW: NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE] (fwd)

Given the Prezidential oddness going on in the Excited States, and the
GZGverse's NAC, I've got to share this...

Further note to the Canadians out there: Remeber to help get Stockwell
re-named Doris - go to http://www.22minutes.com and sign the petition!
(This won't make any sense to non-Canadians, but it's too long a
political
joke to explain...)

Brian - yh728@victoria.tc.ca -
- http://warbard.iwarp.com/games.html -

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Its the season for silly political commentary ......

>>NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
>>
>>To the citizens of the United States of America,
>>
>>In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus
to
>>govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
>>independence, effective today.
>>
>>Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
over
>>all states, commonwealths and other territories.  Except Utah, which
she
>>does not fancy.  Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP
for
>>the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a
world
>>outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the
need
>>for further elections.  Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.  A
>>questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of
you
>>noticed.
>>
>>To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules
>>are introduced with immediate effect:
>>
>>1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. 
Then
>>look up "aluminium".	Check the pronunciation guide.	You will be
amazed at
>>just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.  Generally, you should
raise
>>your vocabulary to acceptable levels.  Look up "vocabulary".	Using
the
>same
>>twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and
"you
>>know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.  Look
up
>>"interspersed".
>>
>>2. There is no such thing as "US English".  We will let Microsoft know
on
>>your behalf.
>>
>>3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
 It
>>really isn't that hard.
>>
>>4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
the
>>good guys.
>>
>>5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen",
>>but only after fully carrying out task 1.  We would not want you to
get
>>confused and give up half way through.
>>
>>6. You should stop playing American "football".  There is only one
kind of
>>football.  What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
>game.
>>The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders
>>may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.	You will
no
>>longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
>>Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.  It is a
>difficult
>>game.  Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play
rugby
>>(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for
>>a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
>>nancies).  We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens
side by
>>2005.
>>
>>7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
if
>>they give you any merde.  The 98.85% of you who were not aware that
there
>is
>>a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.  The
Russians
>>have never been the bad guys.  "Merde" is French for "shit".
>>
>>8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday.  November 8th will be a new
>>national holiday, but only in England.  It will be called "Indecisive
Day".
>>
>>9. All American cars are hereby banned.  They are crap and it is for
your
>>own good.  When we show you German cars, you will understand what we
mean.
>>
>>10. Please tell us who killed JFK.  It's been driving us crazy.
>>
>>Thank you for your cooperation.
>
>

Dr. Alan E. Burger
Department of Biology
University of Victoria
Victoria, B.C.
V8W 3N5
Canada
aburger@uvic.ca
Phone: (250) 479-2446
Fax: (250) 721-7120